One Sticker For You… Two For Me!

Published 5:51 pm Thursday, November 18, 2010

Yep, I admit, I'm in need of a little help!

I've tried whispering, screaming, and crying to get my little mini-me to pay attention and nothing is working lately…

She's the best pretender in the world and, not surprisingly, she mastered it in about a week.

Email newsletter signup

She turned two one day and the next, her momma knew nothing. I went from being the one with all the answers to the one that is now always ignored and wrong.

I get “No!” more times than I can keep up with and she's even listening to “Lola” her stuffed puppy that lives in a carrier handbag more than me. I'm positive they are having secret talks when I'm not in the room.

Yes, I'm well aware that this is just a phase and that in time she will get over this little attitude problem. But, I'm a little nervous to know what's next. If I can barely handle this minor problem at two what in the world am I going to do when she starts slamming doors and locking herself in her room as a teenager?<br />
Hmm. Hold the phone just one minute!

I know exactly what I'm going to do.

When she turns 12 the door will come off if she's still on this track-no door on the hinges means there will be no slamming in my house.

See, that problem was easy enough to solve but what am I to do with this free-spirited toddler?

Thankfully, she can't yet reach the doorknob!

At the end of some days, I feel swamped and bewildered as though I was run through a car wash (not the new laser kind but the ones that used those massive spinning brushes).

The other day, I couldn't even bribe Miss Independent to stay in the shopping cart while grocery shopping so there I was with a basket full of groceries and toting a toddler.

She had all of a sudden lost her ability to sit still in the cart or walk while out of it. Between pushing the full cart and carrying her I thought I was going to lose my mind.

For a moment, I could see others (the ones who are not yet moms) looking at me with “that” look.

You know the one! The same “look” I use to have while standing in line and watching other moms struggle with their kids.

“I will never let my child get away with that!” I'd think while watching the scene unfold.

Yep, when you join the motherhood club all of that “proper” thinking goes out the window and you'll do just about anything to get the groceries to the car and get them home.

I'm now officially a card-carrying member of the “Do What You Have To Do” club and let me tell you-there's nothing a bribe can't fix. Suckers, stickers, you name it…

I'm now loaded with quick solutions to fizzle out a toddler on the verge of a hostile meltdown.

After that one horrific adventure to the grocery store, you'll never catch me without a purse full of bribes and goodies.

These days I don't leave home without backup and it comes in a 100-pack of stickers and a large quantity of suckers.

Stickers solve anything and suckers just make sulking taste a little better.

Give me an award now, there's nothing like rewarding a pouting toddler with a sucker.

Yes, and go ahead and judge me now, but I know we've all been there or will be there at some point in our lives.

Heck, I know I'll be there again. It's only a matter of days before this smart little one catches on to the sucker and sticker plan and I'll be right back to toting a toddler and pushing a full cart.

So here's until I see you in the store…

Our next milestone is potty training and oh, don't you worry, I've got it all figured out. The passage from “baby” to “big girl” will be accompanied by many (and I do mean many) cookies!