President Obama's Most Outrageously Liberal Act

Published 2:14 pm Thursday, February 24, 2011

President Barack Obama has certainly put the L in liberal this time.

He pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey.

That's right, pardoned a turkey. This is outrageous Elitist Liberalism gone bad. Gone, in fact, totally berserk.

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What's next, pardoning the Fourth of July corn on the cob?

What the L? Wait until Fox news hears about this. Nothing could be more mamby-pamby than letting a turkey off the hook.

That bird deserved to die.

And to be eaten as our Founding Fathers intended turkeys to be killed and eaten.

One has difficulty imagining anything that flies in the face of the conservative family values of this nation more than refusing to kill and eat a turkey at Thanksgiving as the author of the Constitution intended.

A quick perusal of James Madison's diary as he was composing the Bill of Rights proves this beyond any doubt.

“Wrote First Amendment. Killed turkey. Ate it. Lovely day.”

If killing and eating turkeys is good enough for James Madison, then by golly it ought to be good enough for President Obama.

<!– 1upcrlf2 –>”The Birthers” are going to have a field day with this.

No, literally, a field day-a release and hunt, shoot-to-kill turkey extravaganza with all the trimmings.

Nothing could make them feel President Obama was born overseas, and so illegally elected president, more than a failure to kill and eat a turkey. Pardoning a turkey will be seen as unpardonable.

But it gets worse.

More liberal.

The turkey's name was Apple.

Ivory Tower elitism.

What could be more un-American and un-patriotic than pardoning a turkey named Apple? Nobody names a turkey Apple. It's just not done. None of our Founding Fathers pardoned a turkey named Apple. None of our Founding Fathers named even a single turkey.

A quick perusal of George Washington's diary as he began his fifth month as our first president proves this beyond any trepidation.

“Was given a turkey. Didn't name it. Plan to kill it and eat it. Nice day. Martha's visiting friends who are killing turkeys and will eat them.”

Nothing could be more clear.

A turkey named Apple, eh? Probably a weak-on-defense liberal vegetarian. Isn't turkey meat good enough for a turkey? Is eating turkey meat somehow beneath a turkey's dignity? What liberal elites. Totally out of touch with real America.

None of our Founding Fathers were mamby-pamby vegetarians. They ate meat, by thunder, and let the gravy dribble down their chins.

But believe me, this outburst of liberalism gets worse. Twice as bad. President Obama actually pardoned two turkeys. Pardoning Apple wasn't mamby-pamby enough. No, he had to pardon the understudy, too, the back-up National Turkey, named Cider.

This is an outrage to the memory of Aaron Burr, I tell you.

Don't doubt me, either. I know this to be true because I have a Nov. 24, 2010 press release issued by the Office of the White House Press Secretary that I found when I cleaned my office this week (it's never too late to know the truth). The president was so indifferent to our American traditions of killing and eating turkeys that he actually issued a press release. Rubbing our face in it.

John Adams never issued a press release.

The final entry in John Adams' presidential diary was this lament: “Never issued a press release. My one regret. I will kill a turkey and eat it. Not a bad day, otherwise. Wonder what Jefferson's doing? Probably killing and eating turkeys.”

And those guys had wooden teeth. But no, President Obama, probably in cahoots with Nancy Pelosi, betrayed the great history of killing turkeys and eating them with his fluoride-treated teeth.

No wonder the Tea Party is up in arms.

They should be up in thighs and drumsticks too.

Yes, it is true that Presidents Bush-both of them; the understudy, too-and President Reagan and Presidents Nixon and Ford (who didn't have a better idea) also pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey. But they were Republicans and conservatives, which made it well within the finest traditions of our Founding Fathers.

But a Democrat like Obama?

America has lost all of its stuffing.