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‘Love the one we married’

Several redefinitions of traditional marriage are now considered the “norms” of our society. Our generation has redefined marriage, offered no fault divorce and legalized alternative lifestyles. The U.S. Supreme Court justifies this new norm by pulling out the phrase “pursuit of happiness” from our Constitution.

The reason couples experiment with relationships or rebel against the tradition of marriage is because of selfishness. When either one or both enter the relationship thinking only of themselves, the foundation will give away. If sex is the reason for being together, it will be a shallow experience. There is only so much that sex can offer if lust is the basis.

Entering an arrangement for security from the fears of life may end up producing greater fears. Wanting the material things of life from a relationship will never be satisfying. A house, automobiles and things can never love us back. Marriage, for the sake of having a baby or to be accepted as part of a family unit, may leave us lonelier than before.

The Creator of life is also the One who established the institution of marriage. His guidelines are needed for a purposeful and well-maintained relationship. God, however, has been replaced by the flawed society. Couples now play husband and wife to accommodate their self-interests.

Only the Lord can give us His sacrificial love for our mate. We will never know how to live for them until we are ready to die for them.

Commitment to our wife or husband comes from the One who will never leave or forsake us. His commitment is not based on who we are but who He is. It is still there whether the person wants it or deserves it.

Forgiveness for those who fail us can only come from the One we have failed so often. A merciful God freely gives us forgiveness. In return, we can ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness to our mate.

Good marriages are not made in Heaven, but in this imperfect world by two imperfect people.

A little bit of heaven on earth in a relationship requires hard work. It can be accomplished, however, when the two grow together in God’s mercy and grace. Instead of asking if someone will make you a good husband or wife, ask yourself if you will make a good husband or wife.

Remember, the Bible never said to marry the one we love, but it does say to “love the one we married.”

Steve Conwell is pastor of the Maranatha Baptist Church. His email address is SteveConwell@outlook.com.