By Halle Parker

The Rotunda

The one body everyone knows best is their own.

It is their temple. Therefore, a mere brush of the hand in the shower is enough to notice something new.

In some cases, these minor differences can range from an odd bruise to unexpected stubble.

Others are more serious, a knot on the back of the head, a deep sore.

A lump.

On Jan. 8, as Michelle Meadows casually bathed, she noticed a small, bean-sized lump in her right breast, setting her on a nearly year long journey of balancing chemotherapy treatments and work as a senior associate of Longwood Athletics, while trying to maintain her sanity, hope, and, most importantly, faith.

“A lot of my story is not just about breast cancer, but it’s really my walk with God and my own faith though this,” said Meadows.

Initially, her doctors didn’t express any worry due to the bean’s seemingly smooth texture, but nevertheless sent her through a series of breast studies.

Following a long day of tests and after waiting for the results, Meadows’ doctor sat down next to her.

The bean wasn’t as smooth as they thought, he said.

There is reason for concern, he said.

The next step to diagnosis was performing a biopsy.

In many cases, patients have to wait several weeks to a month for an appointment. Surprisingly, an appointment opened up for Meadows the next day.

“This was the first thing of God just kind of being there for me,” she said.

After a weekend of waiting for the results, she received a phone call from the number she recognized automatically.

Not wanting to hear the results alone, she went to her boyfriend’s house to return the call to no avail.

The doctor called her back as she was driving herself home, telling her to call him when she arrived.

And she did.

“He said a lot of words and a lot of big things. I knew that moment I had cancer, but I had no idea what that meant,” said Meadows.

From there, the most difficult part of her journey began physically and spiritually.

Six months of chemotherapy treatments followed by surgery and three weeks of radiation laid ahead, all presenting her with the question, “Is my faith real?”

Although Meadows grew up in a religious home, she fully devoted herself to her Christian faith six years ago.

“It was 2009 and God just grabbed a hold of me and said, ‘It’s not your parent’s faith, do you believe or not?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I believe. I want to follow you,’” Meadows described. “And it’s been a journey ever since.”

At the start of 2015, prior to finding the lump, Meadows decided to write a journal for the first time.

Searching for her theme, Meadows looked to God for a word to “anchor” her.

With her diagnosis, the word surrender involved more than she expected.

“I thought it would be surrendering bad habits or attitudes or selfishness, and now I was looking and saying well, I have to surrender my life and my health to your will for me,” she said.

Her theme of surrendering her life to her faith held throughout the various stages in her treatment.

Her realization allowed her to get past the initial jolts of fear towards the uncertainty cancer presented and approach each issue as they came with trust in her beliefs.

“God is trustworthy,” said Meadows, another lesson she felt the experience taught her.

At times, the theme coincided with the phrase, “Stand still.”

Following her initial biopsy, she was required to have an MRI where her radiologist found a “suspicious” lymph node—a potential sign that the cancer was spreading. Meadows needed another biopsy.

After having the second biopsy, she invited an old friend to pray and eat with her.

As she waited, she heard the lyrics of an old Christian song in her head, the music not actually being played nor had she listened to the song for a long time.

Two lines entered her mind:

“When you feel like you’ve reached the end, he’ll make a way for you, you just have to stand still and let God move and the answer will come but only in his time.”

Repeatedly, the phrase “Stand Still” appeared as the prospect of her cancer’s growth loomed.

Meadows and her friend reflected on the true meaning of salvation, a word defined to Meadows the previous Sunday at church during a prayer for her by a woman she hadn’t met before.

“She says it’s not just salvation of your soul and to live with God for eternity. But it’s about wholeness and healing and restoration and just god’s overall care for us,” said Meadows.

When the second biopsy results arrived, her radiologist delivered good news.

The lymph node was clean and the cancer remained in its original form.