Trekking Some Graduation Vibes

Published 3:46 pm Thursday, May 26, 2011

Greetings from the edge of the paper, ya'll.

This is ole Rob Shaflin stopping in for another visit. Rob Chapman's been locked up again, put out of commission, stowed away for a not so rainy day.

Don't know me? (Sigh) Well, I'm Chappy's alter ego, the one who writes the things Chappy never would, popping in for another visit. He's all puff and fluff, puppies, “ain't that so cute” sickly stuff. I-well, old Shaflin is the straight shooter, cool dealer, suave dude who keeps givin' Chappy advice to improve his persona that he never takes.

Where's Chappy? I like calling him Chappy, sounds rather English, don't it? Plus, he's not down with it too much, either.

Hey, Chappy, Chappy, Chappy.

See him squirm?

Oh, guess you can't. Just trust me. He's a bit cornered today, tied up with other work and can't be bothered with this writing stuff at the moment. He's shackled in thought, imprisoned with his ideas (or lack thereof).

Ain't that right Chappy?

He also hates it when I say “ain't.” Says it's bad grammar or some such.

Heh, heh.

Guess that'll teach him to fall asleep at the keyboard so I can take over.

Anwayz, forget about Chappy for a few minutes and look to Shaflin for some advice. You see, Shaflin knows what time of year it is so he's gonna take a few minutes to talk to the graduation kidz. The rest of you can tune out. Think of it as time amok and beam yourself to another dimension or a warp to an alternate reality.

Oh, sorry, guess I'm goin' all Star Trek on you folks. That's so Chappy. Don't know what it is about Star Trek and that guy. He's got it bad. Still, it makes Shaflin wonder how this Trek stuff came out of him…

Ahem, as old Shaflin was saying: Graduates, if you have a dream, stick with it. Spend some time cogitating on it alone first and remember that great ideas are born on holodecks.

Holodecks?

Ol' Shaflin don't know what no holodeck is. Must be some sort of phase of thought gone off course. Shaflin thinks these sure are strange words coming out the keyboard and he don't like it.

Let ol' Shaflin try again to Spock another thought, graduates. Before you fleet foot it to the academy, remember how important you are. As a bridge to the next generation, you have to boldly go where no one has gone before. Be enterprising…

What? More Star Trek mumbo jumbo commin' on the screen? Shaflin's starting to get ideas.

Chappy? What you laughing about? Shafflin sees you over there; he don't need no triquarter to diagnose you did something to the computer.

What's this?

Chappy is loose?

You've had enough of Shaflin and want to Kirk it to another gear.

You'd like to shift from drive to neutral and zone Shaflin to Romu-land?

Oh, Shaflin, that was bad. Real bad.

Stop laughing, Chappy. Shaflin can't check off this theme. What did Chappy do to make Shaflin write all this?

Hey, what's all this red sparkly sparkly stuff? Shaflin's starting to disappear. I think they've beamed me to…

(Editor's note: Sorry for the inconvenience folks. Shaflin is gone again to that city on the edge of forever. Our regular Lifeprints columnist Rob Chapman will return in two weeks. Have a nice trek-er, day.)