Check Your Face

Published 3:00 pm Thursday, August 12, 2010

The social networking site Facebook just recently recruited over 500 million fans.

Yes, you read that right.

Better yet, people spend approximately 700 billion minutes each month on the site, according to a recent article on the social networking giant.

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Hello! The site just registered a half-billion active friends-and most of them are about as happy with the “Face” as they are with their cable or satellite provider.

So why the heck are new people joining every minute (or at this rate every second)?

The online way of staying (stalking) in touch with “friends” has just jumped into another cyberspace realm.

No one calls friends to make “big” announcements anymore. They just send out one really long status update and in about 30 seconds all of their friends are informed and commenting on the news.

I can't even count how many engagements, marriages, births, and new puppies have been announced on my status feed just this summer.

What happened to the day when people actually used their phones for something besides texting and “book of your face” stalking?


There are number keys on cell phones these days. You can actually make a call.

Don't get me wrong, I am a fan and I have been an active “friend” since about 2005. That was when the “Face” was just getting started and it was only open to “cool college kids” as a way to stay in touch with other classmates and high school friends.

A lot has changed since those days.

Now people are farming in Farmville, having Mafia wars, and barn raisings on the site.

I'm not even sure if half the people on the site know that there is such a place as Farmville and that people really do farm here!

There are only 309 million people in the United States.

So who isn't on Facebook?

Let me see I can count a few…

My mom and dad aren't on it but geez don't leave your page up while they are around…They'll be stalking all your friends and asking questions about what to click to see people's pictures. They use it vicariously through their children and are against having their very own page.

W.T would never have a “Face” account, that's for sure.

I try to use it sensibly to keep in touch with cousins who live far away and other family members, as well as classmates from school. It's nice to see how we are all living our “grown up” lives these days.

Oh, and I will only be your “friend” if I know you well enough to have a conversation with you in, say, the Wal-Mart line.

If I can't talk to you in Wal-Mart, I'm not going to be your friend-so don't ask.

Speaking of friends, I currently have 251 friends.

You can find out all sorts of stuff and it seems people are more willing to share day-to-day errands and other boring activities (as well as those who like to divulge way too much information-if you know what I mean).

Along with the “like” and “dislike” buttons, there should also by a “TMI” button that can be clicked when people share more than any of us would like to know.

“Just got off work and I'm now heading to the grocery store” was one friend's status update the other day.

The only way I'd really care about this person going to the grocery store is if they were actually going to go for me too.

If I could somehow “comment” my grocery list to them and have them pick up my things and drop them off at my house that would be the life of being connected on Facebook.

I mean if they are my “friend” they should be gracious enough to deliver my groceries…right?

Yeah right, not a chance!